LGBTQIA+
(based from lgbtqia.ucdavis.edu/educated)
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual
GLOSSARY
The terms and definitions below are always evolving, changing and often mean
different things to different people. They are provided below as a starting point for
discussion and understanding. This Glossary has been collectively built and created
by the staff members of the LGBTQIA Resource Center since the early 2000s. In making this page, I added some missing terms and definitions myself.
These are not universal definitions. This glossary is provided to help give others a
more thorough but not entirely comprehensive understanding of the significance
of these terms. You may even consider asking someone what they mean when they
use a term, especially when they use it to describe their identity. Ultimately it is
most important that each individual define themselves for themselves and therefore
also define a term for themselves.
“If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's
fantasies for me and eaten alive.” -Audre Lorde
This glossary contains terms, such as ableism and disability, that may not be
considered directly related to identities of sexuality or gender. These terms are
important to acknowledge as part of our mission to challenge all forms of
oppression that affect the multiple, intersectional identities held by members of
our community.
A
Ability: The quality of having the means or skill to do something. Ability is not
permanent, can fluctuate throughout one’s life, and is another aspect of diversity in
our communities. Disabilities do not necessarily limit people unless society
imposes assumptions that do not account for the variation in people’s abilities.
Ableism: The pervasive system of discrimination and exclusion that oppresses
people who are disabled, including differences in mental, cognitive, emotional,
and/or physical abilities, through attitudes, actions, or institutional policies.
Ace: An abbreviation of the word Asexual. See Asexual/Asexuality.
Achillean: Used to describe any male-identifying person who is attracted to other
male-identifying people. This broad term includes gay men, bisexuals,
omnisexuals, pansexuals, romantic asexuals, and other orientations, as well as
nonbinary folks. Often achillean is used as a more inclusive term instead of “men
who like men (MLM)” or gay men.
AFAB: Assigned Female at Birth. The terms AFAB and AMAB are used by a wide
range of individuals, including those who are transgender, non-binary, or intersex.
While AFAB or AMAB may be useful for describing different trans or non-binary
experiences, they are generally not considered identities in and of themselves.
Calling a transman “AFAB,” for example, erases his identity as a man. Instead, use a
person’s requested pronouns and self-description. [Rainbow Round Table]
Ageism: The pervasive system of prejudice and discrimination that marginalizes
people based on their age. This can be perpetuated through stereotypes of
youthfulness versus life at an older age and through oppressive policies that
subordinate and exclude older folks. Ageism can impact different age groups
besides older folks, such as younger people who are stereotyped as being unable to
make big decisions.
Agender: An identity under the non-binary and trans+ umbrella. Some agender
people feel that they have no gender identity, while others feel that agender is itself
a gender identity. This can be similar to or overlap with the experience of being
gender neutral, or having a neutral gender identity. Also see Neutrois. [Albert
Kennedy]
Allistic: An adjective used to describe a person who is not autistic and is often
used to emphasize the privilege of people who are not on the autism spectrum.
Allosexism: The pervasive system of discrimination and exclusion that oppresses
asexual people built out of the assumption that everyone does and should
experience sexual attraction.
Allosexual: A sexual orientation generally characterized by feeling sexual attraction
or a desire for partnered sexuality.
Allyship: The action of working to end oppression through support of, and as an
advocate for, a group other than one’s own.
LGBTQIA Allyship is the practice of confronting heterosexism, sexism,
genderism, allosexism, and monosexism in oneself and others out of self-interest
and a concern for the well being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer,
intersex and asexual people. Is founded on the understanding that dismantling
heterosexism, monosexism, trans oppression/trans misogyny/cissexism and
allosexism is a social justice issue.
AMAB: Assigned Male at Birth. The terms AFAB and AMAB are used by a wide
range of individuals, including those who are transgender, non-binary, or intersex.
While AFAB or AMAB may be useful for describing different trans or non-binary
experiences, they are generally not considered identities in and of themselves.
Calling a transman “AFAB,” for example, erases his identity as a man. Instead, use a
person’s requested pronouns and self-description. [Rainbow Round Table]
Androgyne: A person with a gender that is both masculine and feminine or in
between masculine and feminine. An androgynous person.
Androsexuality: Sexual attraction towards men, masculinity, masculine gender presentation and/or male anatomy. The female counterpart is Gynosexuality.
Aromantic/Aro: A romantic orientation generally characterized by not feeling
romantic attraction or a desire for romance. Aromantic people can be satisfied by
friendship and other non-romantic relationships. Many aromantic people also
identify with a sexual orientation, such as asexual, bisexual, etc.
Asexual/Asexuality/Ace: A broad spectrum of sexual orientations generally
characterized by feeling varying degrees of sexual attraction or a desire for
partnered sexuality. Asexuality is distinct from celibacy, which is the deliberate
abstention from sexual activity, despite sexual desire. Some asexual people do have
sex and do experience varying levels of sexual attraction. There are many diverse
ways of being asexual. A person who does not experience sexual attraction can
experience other forms of attraction such as romantic attraction, physical attraction
and emotional attraction, as these are separate aspects of a person’s identity. These
may or may not correlate with each other - for instance, some people are physically
and romantically attracted to women. However, others might be physically attracted
to all genders and only emotionally attracted to men.
Autism: A neurological variation encompassing a wide range of presentations and
experiences. Common characteristics of autism include repetitive behavior and
differences in social interaction, interpersonal relationships, and communication.
For some people, their gender identity is significantly tied to their identity as an
autistic person.
*For this glossary, we use identity-first language instead of person-first language
for describing autistic people because for some people, their disability is an
important part of who they are (this practice comes from the Autistic Self
Advocacy Network). However, we acknowledge that language and how people
describe their identities can vary for each person and change over time.
B
BDSM: Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and
Masochism. BDSM refers to a wide spectrum of activities and forms of
interpersonal relationships. While not always overtly sexual in nature, the activities
and relationships within a BDSM context are almost always eroticized by the
participants in some fashion. Many of these practices fall outside of commonly
held social norms regarding sexuality and human relationships.
Bear Community: A part of the queer community composed of queer cisgender,
transgender, or gender variant men similar in physical looks and interests, most of
them large, hairy, and on the masculine side of presentation. The community
aims to provide spaces where one feels wanted, desired, and liked. It nourishes and
values an individual’s process of making friends and learning self-care and self-love
through the unity and support of the community. Bears, Cubs, Otters, Wolves,
Chasers, Admirers and other wildlife comprise what has come to be known as the
Brotherhood of Bears and/or the Bear community. See also: Ursula
Bigender: Having two genders, exhibiting characteristics of masculine and
feminine roles.
Binding: The process of reducing the appearance of breasts by wrapping or
compressing the chest using various methods. Binding can be very genderaffirming
for many people, however it must be done safely. Learn more about safe
binding.
Biphobia: Oppression, discrimination and hatred toward those who identify as
bisexual, pansexual, and omnisexual. Biphobia can be present in both the LGBTQ+
and broader community. See also Monosexism.
*At the UCD LGBTQIA Resource Center, we’ve been intentionally moving away
from using words like "transphobic,” “homophobic,” and "biphobic" because they
inaccurately describe systems of oppression as irrational fears. Also, for some
people, phobias are a very distressing part of their lived experience and co-opting
this language can be disrespectful to their experiences and perpetuates ableism.
Bisexual/Bi: A person whose primary sexual and affectional orientation is toward
people of the same and other genders, or towards people regardless of their
gender. Some people may use bisexual and pansexual interchangeably.
BlaQ/BlaQueer: Folks of Black/African descent and/or from the African diaspora
who recognize their queerness/LGBTQIA identity as a salient identity attached to
their Blackness and vice versa. (T. Porter)
Body Image: How a person feels, acts, and thinks about their body. Attitudes
about our own body and bodies in general are shaped by our communities,
families, cultures, media, and our own perceptions.
Body Policing: Any behavior which (indirectly or directly, intentionally or
unintentionally) attempts to correct or control a person's actions regarding their
own physical body, frequently with regards to gender expression or size. (ASC
Queer Theory)
Butch: A gender expression that fits societal definitions of masculinity. Usually
used by queer women and trans people, particularly by lesbians. Some consider
“butch” to be its own gender identity.
C
Cisgender: A gender identity, or performance in a gender role, that society deems
to match the person’s assigned sex at birth. The prefix cis- means "on this side
of" or "not across." A term used to highlight the privilege of people who are not
transgender.
Cisnormativity: Attitudes and behaviors that incorrectly assume gender is binary,
ignoring genders besides women and men, and that people should and will align
with conventional expectations of society for gender identity and gender
expression. Heteronormativity often combines with heteronormativity to create
societal expectations of behavior. For example, someone assigned female at birth
is expected to 1) have a body that is considered “female” by the dominant culture,
2) identify as a girl or woman, 3) act feminine and fulfill the roles associated with
girls and/or women, 4) be romantically and sexually attracted to men, and 5) being
in a monogamous relationship with someone of the opposite assigned sex at
birth. See also Heteronormativity.
Cissexism/Genderism: The pervasive system of discrimination and exclusion
founded on the belief that there are, and should be, only two genders and that
one’s gender or most aspects of it, are inevitably tied to assigned sex. This system
oppresses people whose gender and/or gender expression falls outside of cisnormative
constructs. Within cissexism, cisgender people are the dominant group
and trans/gender non-conforming people are the oppressed group.
Coming Out: Coming out is the process of voluntarily sharing one's sexual
orientation and/or gender identity with others. This process is unique for each
individual and there is no right or wrong way to come out. The term “coming out”
has also been broadened to include other pieces of potentially stigmatized personal
information. Terms also used that correlate with this action are: "Being out" which
means not concealing one's sexual orientation or gender identity, and "Outing", a
term used for making public the sexual orientation or gender identity of another
who would prefer to keep this information secret. Not sharing one’s LGBTQ+
identity publicly is sometimes referred to as being “in the closet” or “closeted”.
For support on coming out, please see our Coming Out Resource Guide.
Cross Dresser (CD): A word to describe a person who dresses, at least partially, as
a member of a gender other than their assigned sex; carries no implications of
sexual orientation or gender identity. Has replaced “Transvestite.”
Culture: A learned set of values, beliefs, customs, norms, and perceptions shared
by a group of people that provide a general framework for living and patterns for
interpreting life. “Culture is those deep, common, unstated, learned experiences
which members of a given culture share, which they communicate without
knowing, and which form the backdrop against which all other events are judged.”
(E. Hall.)
Cultural Humility: An approach to engagement across differences that
acknowledges systems of oppression and embodies the following key practices: (1)
a lifelong commitment to self-evaluation and self-critique, (2) a desire to fix power
imbalances where none ought to exist, and (3) aspiring to develop partnerships
with people and groups who advocate for others on a systemic level. (Melanie
Tervalon & Jann Murray-García, 1998)
D
Deadname/Deadnaming: A deadname is a name that a trans+/nonbinary person
no longer uses. Usually it is the name assigned at birth. When someone uses this
name, whether intentionally or not, it is referred to as deadnaming. Deadnaming is
considered offensive and hurtful. See also Lived Name.
Demisexual: Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual
attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond. Most
demisexuals feel sexual attraction rarely compared to the general population, and
some have little to no interest in sexual activity. Demisexuals are considered to be
on the asexual spectrum.
Diamoric: Attractions experienced by nonbinary individuals that cannot be described as "same gender" or "other gender", "straight" or "gay". As an identity word for nonbinary people, it can be used to describe their sexual or romantic orientations, rather than being a specific orientation term of its own, or used to describe their relationships. Some nonbinary people use it to emphasize their own gender identity and their attractions or relationships with other nonbinary people.
Disability/(Dis)ability/Dis/ability: A social construct that identifies any
restriction or lack of ability to perform an activity in the manner or within the
range considered “typical” for a human being, given environments that are
constructed for and by the dominant or “typical” person.
Discrimination: Inequitable actions carried out by members of a dominant group
or its representatives against members of a marginalized or minoritized group.
Drag/Drag King /Drag Queen: The theatrical performance of one or multiple
genders via dressing in the clothing of a different gender, or in a manner different
from how one would usually dress. Drag queens perform in distinctly feminine
attire. Drag kings perform in distinctly masculine attire. Drag is a form of gender
expression and is not an indication of gender identity. Individuals who dress in
drag may or may not consider themselves to be transgender. They may identify as
gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight or some other sexual orientation. [Identiversity]
Dyke: A lesbian or queer woman. Some members of the LGBTQ+ community
have reclaimed this term, but it is still considered offensive to many. Only people
who self-identify as a dyke should use this term.
Dysphoria: See “Gender Dysphoria”.
E
Enby: A slang term used for nonbinary. Enby is the phonetic pronunciation of
“NB,” an abbreviation for nonbinary.
Ethnicity: A social construct that divides people into smaller social groups based
on characteristics such as shared sense of group membership, values, behavioral
patterns, language, political and economic interests, history and ancestral
geographical base.
Euphoria: See “Gender Euphoria”.
F
Femme: Historically used in the lesbian community to refer to a feminine lesbian,
it is being increasingly used by other LGBTQIA people to describe gender
expressions that reclaim and disrupt traditional constructs of femininity.
FTM: Female to Male. Generally used to refer to anyone assigned female at birth
whose affirmed gender identity or expression is masculine all or part of the time.
Some people prefer the term ‘transitioning to male’ (or ‘male,’ ‘man’ or ‘trans man’),
as this does not use misgendering language. This term is not used as often in the
2020s, but may be important in certain (e.g., medical) contexts. [QMUNITY]
G
Gay: A sexual and affectional orientation toward people of the same gender. See
Homosexual/Homosexuality.
Gender: A social construct used to classify a person as a man, woman, or some
other identity. Fundamentally different from the sex one is assigned at birth.
Gender Affirming: A broad term encompassing actions, language, medical care,
and more, that affirms someone’s gender identity or expression. For example,
surgery that alters someone’s appearance to align with their gender identity is
referred to as gender-affirming surgery.
Gender Dysphoria: Used to describe when a person experiences discomfort or
distress because there is a mismatch between their sex assigned at birth and their
gender identity.
This is also the clinical diagnosis for someone who doesn’t feel comfortable with
the sex they were assigned at birth. [Stonewall]
Gender Euphoria: A euphoric feeling often experienced when one’s gender is
recognized and respected by others, when one’s body aligns with one’s gender, or
when one expresses themselves in accordance with their gender. Focusing on
gender euphoria instead of gender dysphoria shifts focus towards the positive
aspects of being transgender or gender expansive. [PFLAG]
Gender Expansive: An umbrella term used for individuals who broaden their own
culture’s commonly held definitions of gender, including expectations for its
expression, identities, roles, and/or other perceived gender norms. Gender
expansive individuals include those who identify as transgender, as well as anyone
else whose gender in some way is seen to be broadening the surrounding society’s
notion of gender.
Gender Expression: How one expresses oneself, in terms of dress, presentation of
secondary sex characteristics (i.e., breasts, body hair, voice), and/or behaviors.
Society, and people that make up society characterize these expressions as
"masculine,” “feminine,” or “androgynous.” Individuals may embody their gender
in a multitude of ways and have terms beyond these to name their gender
expression(s).
Gender Fluid/Genderfluid: A person whose gender identification and presentation
shifts, whether within or outside of societal, gender-based expectations. Being fluid
in motion between two or more genders.
Gender Identity: A sense of one’s self as trans, genderqueer, woman, man, or some
other identity, which may or may not correspond with the sex and gender one is
assigned at birth.
Genderism/Cissexism: The belief that there are, and should be, only two genders
& that one’s gender or most aspects of it, are inevitably tied to assigned sex. In a
genderist/cissexist construct, cisgender people are the dominant/agent group and
trans/ gender non-conforming people are the oppressed/target group.
Gender Neutral: Refers to anything that is not gendered. For example, genderneutral
language does not use binary male or female words, and gender-neutral
restrooms are available to be used by anyone of any gender identity or expression.
Gender Non Conforming (GNC): Adjective for people who do not subscribe to
societal expectations of typical gender expressions or roles. The term is more
commonly used to refer to gender expression (how one behaves, acts, and presents
themselves to others) as opposed to gender identity (one’s internal sense of self).
Gender Outlaw: A person who refuses to be defined by conventional definitions of
male and female. (“Gender Outlaw” by Kate Bornstein)
Gender Queer: A person whose gender identity and/or gender expression falls
outside of the dominant societal norm for their assigned sex, is beyond genders, or
is some combination of genders.
Gender Unicorn: A commonly used model to explain various aspects of one’s
identity, including assigned sex at birth, gender identity, gender expression,
physical attraction, and romantic attraction. The Gender Unicorn illustrates how,
with the exception of assigned sex at birth, these different aspects of identity exist
on spectrums. The Gender Unicorn is available at transstudent.org/gender
*The popular Genderbread Person was plagiarized from the Gender Unicorn. Both
models are not comprehensive representations of identities since these are
complex topics.
Gender Variant: A person who varies from the expected characteristics of the
assigned gender.
Gynosexuality: Sexual attraction towards women, femininity, feminine gender presentation and/or female anatomy. The male counterpart is Androsexuality.
Gray: Also known as Gray-A or Gray-Ace/Aro. This is an umbrella term which
describes people who experience attraction occasionally, rarely, or only under
certain conditions. Includes the identities Graysexual and Grayromantic.
[Stonewall]
H
Heteronormativity: Attitudes and behaviors that incorrectly assume everyone is
straight, or that being heterosexual is “normal”. Hetereornormativity also assumes
people should and will align with conventional expectations of society for sexual
and romantic attraction. Heteronormativity often combines with cisnormativity to
create societal expectations of behavior. For example, someone assigned female at
birth is expected to 1) have a body that is considered “female” by the dominant
culture, 2) identify as a girl or woman, 3) act feminine and fulfill the roles
associated with girls and/or women, 4) be romantically and sexually attracted to
men, and 5) being in a monogamous relationship with someone of the opposite
assigned sex at birth. See also Cisnormativity.
Heterosexism: The assumption that all people are or should be heterosexual.
Heterosexism excludes the needs, concerns, and life experiences of lesbian, gay,
bisexual and queer people, while it gives advantages to heterosexual people. It is
often a subtle form of oppression, which reinforces realities of silence and erasure.
Heterosexuality: A sexual orientation in which a person feels physically attracted
to people of a gender other than their own. See also Straight.
Hijra: In the Indian subcontinent, hijra are transgender, intersex,
or eunuch people who live in communities that follow a kinship system known as
the guru-chela system. They are also known as aravani and aruvani, and in
Pakistan, khawaja sira.
Homophobia: Oppression, discrimination, and hatred directed toward members of
the LGBTQ+ community. See also Heterosexism.
*At the UCD LGBTQIA Resource Center, we’ve been intentionally moving away
from using words like "transphobic,” “homophobic,” and "biphobic" because (1)
they inaccurately describe systems of oppression as irrational fears, and (2) for
some people, phobias are a very distressing part of their lived experience and coopting
this language is disrespectful to their experiences and perpetuates
ableism.
Homosexual/Homosexuality: An outdated term to describe a sexual orientation in
which a person feels physically and emotionally attracted to people of the same
gender. Historically, it was a term used to pathologize gay and lesbian people.
Hyperfemininity: A term used to describe exaggerated feminine qualities, behaviors and roles stereotypically associated with girls and women. Hyperfemininity is sometimes expected of transgender women in order to be seen as “real” women.
Hypermasculinity: A term used to describe exaggerated masculine qualities, behaviors and roles stereotypically associated with boys and men. Hypermasculinity is sometimes expected of transgender men in order to be seen as “real” men.
I
Individual Level: A person’s beliefs or behaviors that consciously or
subconsciously work to perpetuate actions and attitudes of oppression. See also
Internalized Oppression.
Institutional Level: Institutions such as family, government, industry, education,
and religion have policies and procedures that can promote systems of
oppression.
Internalized oppression: The fear and self-hate of one or more of a person’s own
identities that occurs for many individuals who have learned negative ideas about
their identities throughout their life. One form of internalized oppression is the
acceptance of the myths and stereotypes applied to the oppressed group.
Intersectionality: A term coined by law professor Kimberlé Crenshaw in the
1980s to describe the way that multiple systems of oppression interact in the lives
of those with multiple marginalized identities. Intersectionality looks at the
relationships between multiple marginalized identities and allows us to analyze
social problems more fully, shape more effective interventions, and promote more
inclusive advocacy amongst communities.
Intersex: An umbrella term to describe a wide range of natural body variations
that do not fit neatly into conventional definitions of male or female. Intersex
variations may include, but are not limited to, variations in chromosome
compositions, hormone concentrations, and external and internal characteristics.
Many visibly intersex people are mutilated in infancy and early childhood by
doctors to make their sex characteristics conform to society’s idea of what normal
bodies should look like. Intersex people are relatively common, although society's
denial of their existence has allowed very little room for intersex issues to be
discussed publicly. Hermaphrodite is an outdated and offensive term that has been
used to describe intersex people in the past.
K
Kink: (Kinky, Kinkiness) Most commonly referred to as unconventional sexual
practices, from which people derive varying forms of pleasure and consensually
play out various forms of desires, fantasies, and scenes. Kink includes BDSM,
leather, wax play, etc.
Kinsey scale: The scale developed by Alfred Kinsey in the 1940s, which was used
for measuring sexual attraction and behavior along a continuum. Instead of
assigning people to two categories heterosexual and homosexual — —Kinsey used
a spectrum ranging from 0 (exclusively heterosexual) to 6 (exclusively
homosexual). The scale is an early recognition of varying sexual attractions and
behaviors and is credited with challenging the heterosexual/homosexual binary.
[Identiversity]
L
Latine: In response to the difficulty that Spanish speaking people have with using
Latinx, “Latine” was created. Latine can be conjugated and pronounced with more
ease. Both Latine and Latinx are still used, though most folks lean towards using
Latine. Latine is a non-gender specific way of referring to people of Latin
American descent. The term Latine, unlike terms such as Latino/a, does not
assume a gender binary and includes non-binary folks.
Leather Community: A community which encompasses those who enjoy leather,
often as part of sexual activities, including leather uniforms or cowboy outfits. The
leather community related to similar fetish-based communities such as sadomasochism,
bondage and domination, and rubber. Although the leather community
is often associated with the queer community, it is not a "gay-only" community.
Lesbian: Usually, someone who identifies as a woman, whose primary sexual and
affectional orientation is toward people of the same gender. However, some
nonbinary people also identify as lesbians, often because they have some
connection to womanhood and are primarily attracted to women.
LGBTQIA+: Abbreviation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer,
Intersex, and Asexual. The additional “+” stands for all of the other identities not
encompassed in the short acronym. An umbrella term that is often used to refer to
the community as a whole. Our center uses LGBTQIA to intentionally include
and raise awareness of Queer, Intersex and Asexual communities as well as myriad
other communities under our umbrella.
Lived Name: A name (often a first name) that someone uses that differs from their
legal name. There are many reasons someone may have a lived name that differs
from their legal name. Some trans and nonbinary people may use a lived name to
affirm their gender identity. “Preferred name” has also been used, however it has
been largely replaced by lived name. “Preferred name” suggests that using
someone’s lived name is optional, which can lead to deadnaming. See Deadname/
deadnaming.
M
Masculine of Center (MOC): A term coined by B. Cole of the Brown Boi Project
to describe folks, including lesbian/queer womyn and trans folks, who lean towards
the masculine side of the gender spectrum. These can include a wide range of
identities such as butch, stud, aggressive/AG, dom, macha, tomboi, transmasculine,
etc.
Microaggressions: Brief and subtle behaviors, whether intentional or not, that
communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative messages about commonly oppressed
identities. These actions cause harm through the invalidation of the oppressed
person’s identity and may reinforce stereotypes. Examples of microaggressions
include a person who is not white being told they speak “good English” or
someone saying something is “gay” to mean they think something is bad.
Misgendering: Attributing a gender to someone that is incorrect/does not align
with their gender identity. Can occur when using pronouns, gendered language
(i.e. “Hello ladies!” “Hey guys”), or assigning genders to people without knowing
how they identify (i.e. “Well, since we’re all women in this room, we understand…”).
MLM: An abbreviation for men who love men, which includes gay men, as well as
men who are attracted to men and people of other genders.
Monogamy: Having only one intimate partner at any one time; also known as
serial monogamy.
Monosexism: The belief in and systematic privileging of monosexuality as
superior, and the systematic oppression of non-monosexuality.
Monosexual: People who have romantic, sexual, or affectional desire for one
gender only. Identifying as straight or gay are the most well-known forms of
monosexuality.
MSM: An abbreviation for men who have sex with men; they may or may not
identify as gay.
MTF: Male to Female. Generally used to refer to anyone assigned male at birth
whose affirmed gender identity or expression is feminine all or part of the time.
Some people prefer the term ‘transitioning to female’ (or ‘female,’ ‘woman,’ ‘femme,’
or ‘trans woman’), as this does not use misgendering language. This term is not
used as often in the 2020s, but may be important in certain (e.g. medical) contexts.
[QMUNITY]
Multisexual: An umbrella term to describe attraction to more than one gender. It
can include sexual attractions like bisexual, polysexual, omnisexual, and others.
The aforementioned terms are used by some interchangeably and for others the
subtle differences among them are important.
N
Neopronouns: Gender-neutral pronouns such as ze/zir or ey/em that are used
instead of more traditional ones such as they/them. Learn more about
pronouns further down below.
Neurodiversity: Neurodiversity refers to the natural and important variations in
how human minds think. These differences can include autism, attention deficit
hyperactivity disorder, dyspraxia, dyslexia, dyscalculia, Tourette Syndrome, and
others. Like other variable human traits like race, gender, sexuality, or culture, there
is no right or wrong form of diversity. The social dynamics that exert power over
other forms of diversity also impact neurodivergent people. Neurodiversity is not
something to be cured or corrected to fit some social norm - rather, we should
celebrate different forms of communication and self-expression and promote
support systems to allow neurodivergent people to thrive. (Neurocosmopolitanism,
The National Symposium on Neurodiversity)
Neurodivergent: “Neurodivergent, sometimes abbreviated as ND, means having
a brain that functions in ways that diverge significantly from the dominant societal
standards of ‘normal.’ A person whose neurocognitive functioning diverges from
dominant societal norms in multiple ways – for instance, a person who is Autistic,
has dyslexia, and has epilepsy – can be described as multiply neurodivergent. The
terms neurodivergent and neurodivergence were coined by Kassiane Asasumasu, a
multiply neurodivergent neurodiversity activist.” (Neurocosmopolitanism)
Neurotypical: “Neurotypical, often abbreviated as NT, means having a style of
neurocognitive functioning that falls within the dominant societal standards of
‘normal.’ Neurotypical can be used as either an adjective (‘He’s neurotypical’) or a
noun (‘He’s a neurotypical’).” (Neurocosmopolitanism)
Neutrois: A non-binary gender identity that falls under the genderqueer or
transgender umbrellas. There is no one definition of Neutrois, since each person
that self-identifies as such experiences their gender differently. The most common
ones are: Neutral-gender, Null-gender, Neither male nor female, Genderless and/or
Agender. (Neutrois.com)
Non binary/Nonbinary/Non-binary: A gender identity and experience that
embraces a full universe of expressions and ways of being that resonate for an
individual, moving beyond the male/female gender binary. It may be an active
resistance to binary gender expectations and/or an intentional creation of new
unbounded ideas of self within the world. For some people who identify as non
binary there may be overlap with other concepts and identities like gender
expansive and gender non-conforming.
O
Omnigender: Possessing all genders. The term is used specifically to refute the
concept of only two genders.
Oppression: Exists when one social group, whether knowingly or unconsciously,
exploits another social group for its own benefit.
Orientation: Orientation is one’s attraction or non-attraction to other people. An
individual’s orientation can be fluid and people use a variety of labels to describe
their orientation. Some, but not all, types of attraction or orientation include:
romantic, sexual, sensual, aesthetic, intellectual and platonic.
P
Pangender, Polygender: Exhibiting characteristics of multiple genders,
deliberately refuting the concept of only two genders./Individuals who identify with multiple (or all) genders (within their culture & life experiences), sometimes experiencing all these identities simultaneously, sometimes alternating them./Individuals whose gender identity and/or gender expression is numerous, either fixed (many at once) or fluid./One identifies as both binary genders and all known and unknown genders within their own culture and life experience./One's gender is very expansive and unspecific, meaning that there are countless genders with no maximum limit. It may be described as being an infinite spectrum.
Pansexual (Pan), Omnisexual (Omni): Terms used to describe people who have
romantic, sexual or affectional desire for people of all genders and sexes. Has some
overlap with bisexuality and polysexuality (not to be confused with polyamory).
Passing: When a trans individual is perceived as, or “passes” as, a cisgender man or
woman. Passing is often thought of as a form of privilege, and the concept can also
put unrealistic or unwanted expectations on trans/nonbinary folks to confirm to
cisnormativity. Passing can also refer to gay/lesbian/queer people being regarded
as straight. Historically, passing was often necessary as a form of safety for
LGBTQ+ individuals.
Phobia: In mental and emotional wellness, a phobia is a marked and persistent
fear that is excessive in proportion to the actual threat or danger the situation
presents. Historically, this term has been used inaccurately to refer to systems of
oppression (i.e. homophobia has been used to refer to heterosexism.)
At the UCD LGBTQIA Resource Center, we’ve been intentionally moving away
from using words like "transphobic,” “homophobic,” and "biphobic" because they
inaccurately describe systems of oppression as irrational fears, and, for some
people, phobias are a very distressing part of their lived experience and co-opting
this language is disrespectful to their experiences and perpetuates ableism.
Polyamory/Poly: Denotes consensually being in/open to multiple loving
relationships at the same time. Some polyamorists (polyamorous people) consider
“polyam” to be a relationship orientation. Sometimes used as an umbrella term for
all forms of ethical, consensual, and loving non-monogamy.
Polycule: Describes a connected network of people and relationships, all of whom
are in some way involved emotionally, sexually, or romantically with at least one
other person within the polycule. Each polycule, or part within it, can have its own
structures, boundaries, and connections. [Polyamproud]
Polysexual: People who have romantic, sexual, or affectional desire for more than
one gender. Not to be confused with polyamory (above). Has some overlap with
bisexuality and pansexuality.
Positive: Shortened term for HIV positive. For example, stating “I’m positive” is a
way to voluntarily disclose one’s HIV status.
Privilege: a set of unearned benefits given to people who fit into a specific social
group. The concept has roots in WEB DuBois’ work on “psychological wage” and
white people’s feelings of superiority over Black people. Peggy McIntosh wrote
about privilege as a white woman and developed an inventory of unearned
privileges that she experienced in daily life because of her whiteness.
Pronouns: Linguistic tools used to refer to someone in the third person.
Examples are they/them/theirs, ze/hir/hirs, she/her/hers, he/him/his. In
English and some other languages, pronouns have been tied to gender and are a
common area of misgendering (attributing a gender to someone that is
incorrect.) Learn more about pronouns.
Q
QPOC/QTPOC/QTBIPOC: Queer People of Color; Queer Trans People of Color;
Queer Trans Black Indigenous People of Color. Often used to discuss the ways in
which intersectional identities can result in multifaceted systems and experiences
of oppression.
Queer: An umbrella term used to describe gender/sexual/romantic orientations
or identities that fall outside of societal norms. Historically, queer has been used as
an epithet/slur against the LGBTQ+ community. Some people have reclaimed the
word queer and self identify in opposition to assimilation [adapted from “Queering
the Field”]. For some, this reclamation is a celebration of not fitting into social
norms. Not all people who identify as LGBTQIA use “queer” to describe
themselves. For example, those of earlier generations are typically averse to selfidentifying
as queer. The term is often considered hateful when used by those who
do not identify as LGBTQIA.
Queer Platonic Relationship (QPR)/Queer Platonic Partnership
(QPP): Relationships that purposely defy relationship categories, and can mix
elements from platonic, romantic, and sexual relationships. They are each unique
depending on the people involved in them, but they often involve some level of
commitment or intimacy. Because asexual and aromantic people tend to structure
their relationships and interpersonal needs in unique ways, many of them choose
to engage in relationships that are hard to define, and take comfort in Queer
Platonic Relationships. [TAAAP]
Questioning: The process of exploring one’s own gender identity, gender
expression, and/or sexual orientation. Some people may also use this term to name
their identity within the LGBTQIA community.
R
Race: A social construct that divides people into distinct groups based on
characteristics such as physical appearance, ancestral heritage, cultural affiliation,
cultural history, ethnic classification, based on the social, economic, and political
context of a society at a given period of time. (Racial Equity Resource Guide)
Racism: The systematic subordination of people from marginalized racial groups
based on their physical appearance, ethnic or ancestral history, or cultural
affiliation. Racism is considered a deeply pervasive, systemic issue perpetuated by
members of the privileged racial group holding dominant social power over others.
Discrimination, prejudice, or xenophobia may be more accurate terms for
describing individual acts of oppression. While these individual acts likely stem
from systemic racism, at the individual level the power dynamics that enable racism
are not at play in the same way.
Romantic Orientation: Romantic Orientation is attraction or non-attraction to
other people characterized by the expression or non-expression of love. Romantic
orientation can be fluid and people use a variety of labels to describe their
romantic orientation. See also Orientation.
S
Same Gender Loving: a term used by some African American people who love,
date, have attraction to people of the same gender.
Sapphic: Used to describe any female-identifying person who is attracted to other
female-identifying people. This broad term includes lesbians, bisexuals,
omnisexuals, pansexuals, romantic asexuals, and other orientations, as well as
nonbinary folks. Often sapphic is used as a more inclusive term instead of “women
who like women (WLW)” or lesbian.
Sex/Sex Assigned at Birth: A medically constructed categorization. Sex is often
assigned based on the appearance of the genitalia, either in ultrasound or at birth.
Sex assigned at birth is different from gender identity, and sex is not always binary,
such as for Intersex individuals. See also Intersex, AFAB, and AMAB.
Sexism: The cultural, institutional, and individual set of beliefs and practices that
privilege men, subordinate women, and devalue ways of being that are associated
with women.
Sexuality: The components of a person that include their biological sex, sexual
orientation, gender identity, sexual practices, etc.
Sexual Orientation: Sexual Orientation is an enduring emotional, romantic, sexual
or affectional attraction or non-attraction to other people. Sexual orientation can be
fluid and people use a variety of labels to describe their sexual orientation. See
also Orientation.
Sizeism: The pervasive system of discrimination and exclusion that oppresses
people who have bodies that society has labeled as “overweight,” as well as people
of short stature. Historically, fat people’s bodies have been labeled as unhealthy,
undesirable, and lazy; this fails to challenge narratives around health and healthy
living. This form of oppression has been referred to as fatphobia.
Social Identities: Social identity groups are based on the physical, social, and
mental characteristics of individuals. They are sometimes obvious and clear,
sometimes not obvious and unclear, often self-claimed and frequently ascribed by
others.
Socialization: The process by which societal norms influence a number of aspects
that frame how members of a community live, including how they might think,
behave, and hold certain values. Socialization can reinforce assumptions or
expectations that give power to systems of oppression.
Social Justice: A goal and a process in which the distribution of resources is
equitable and all members are physically and psychologically safe and secure.
Begins with an acknowledgement that oppression and inequity exist and must be
actively dismantled on all levels. (Adams, Bell, & Griffin.)
Societal/Cultural Level: Community norms that perpetuate implicit and explicit
values that bind institutions and individuals; social norms on what is valued,
accepted, or desirable give the individual and institutional levels the justification for
systemic oppression.
Socioeconomic Class: Social group membership based on a combination of factors
including income, education level, occupation, and social status in the community,
such as contacts within the community, group associations, and the community's
perception of the family or individual.
SOGIE: An acronym that stands for Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity and
Expression. Is used by some in a similar way to the umbrella acronym: LGBTQIA.
Spectrum: A range or sliding scale. Aspects of one's identity like sexual
orientation, gender identity, and gender expression exist on a spectrum, or outside
of it. For example, with sexual orientation, the attraction to men, women, or
someone of another gender all exist on separate spectrums. Someone might feel a
little attracted to men, very much attracted to women, and moderate attraction to
people outside this binary. Please also see the Gender Unicorn to learn more about
these aspects of identity.
*The phrase “on the spectrum” is more commonly used to refer to identifying on
the autism spectrum rather than sexuality or gender. (AutisticAdvocacy.org)
Stereotype: A generalization applied to every person in a cultural group; a fixed
conception of a group without allowing for individuality. When we believe our
stereotypes, we tend to ignore characteristics that don’t conform to our stereotype,
rationalize what we see to fit our stereotype, see those who do not conform as
“exceptions,” and find ways to create the expected characteristics.
Straight: A romantic and/or sexual orientation in which a person feels attracted to
people of a gender other than their own. Usually used to describe a man attracted
to women and vice-versa. See also Heterosexual.
Stud: A culture-specific identity that is often defined as a black masculine lesbian.
As such, it is meant to be an identity label that is exclusively used by black
people. See also Butch. [LGBTQIA+ Wiki]
T
Trans: The term trans acts as a more inclusive term than transgender for gender
non-conforming and non-binary folks.
Trans man: Usually, a person assigned female at birth who identifies as a man. A
person may choose to identify this way to capture their gender identity as well as
their lived experience as a transgender person.
Transfeminine/Transfem: A term used to describe a person, usually AMAB or
Intersex, who identifies with femininity in some way. Includes Trans women, as
well as other trans+ people who have a connection to femininity.
Transmasculine/Transmasc: A term used to describe a person, usually AFAB or
Intersex, who identifies with masculinity in some way. Includes Trans men, as well
as other trans+ people who have a connection to masculinity.
Transphobia: When people have deeply rooted negative beliefs about what it
means to be transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming. Their beliefs
affect the way they, the government, organizations, the media, and society generally
treat people whose identities don’t fit into typical gender roles.
Transphobia results in policies that take away the rights and safety of trans and
nonbinary children, teens, and adults. This results in discrimination, harassment,
and sometimes violence against people who are not cisgender. See also Cissexsim.
[Planned Parenthood]
*At the UCD LGBTQIA Resource Center, we’ve been intentionally moving away
from using words like "transphobic,” “homophobic,” and "biphobic" because (1)
they inaccurately describe systems of oppression as irrational fears, and (2) for
some people, phobias are a very distressing part of their lived experience and coopting
this language is disrespectful to their experiences and perpetuates
ableism.
Trans woman: Usually, a person assigned male at birth who identifies as a woman.
A person may choose to identify this way to capture their gender identity as well as
their lived experience as a transgender person.
Transgender: An adjective used most often as an umbrella term and frequently
abbreviated to “trans.” Identifying as transgender, or trans, means that one’s
internal knowledge of gender is different from conventional or cultural
expectations based on the sex that person was assigned at birth. While transgender
may refer to a woman who was assigned male at birth or a man who was assigned
female at birth, transgender is an umbrella term that can also describe someone
who identifies as a gender other than woman or man, such as non binary,
genderqueer, genderfluid, no gender or multiple genders, or some other gender
identity.
Transition: Transitioning is the process of taking steps to live as one’s true gender
identity. Transitioning is different for each individual and may or may not involve
medical interventions like taking hormones or having surgery. Some people may
not choose to transition in certain ways for a variety of reasons. The extent of
someone’s transition does not make that person’s gender identity any less or more
valid.
Transitioning may include socially transitioning, such as going by certain pronouns
or going by the Lived Name that affirms one’s gender identity. Transitioning may
involve making changes to one’s physical appearance, such as wearing certain
clothing, wearing one’s hair in a different style or length, or more complex changes
such as medically transitioning through hormones or surgery. Transitioning can
also involve changing legal documents to match one’s authentic sense of self.
Additionally, socially transitioning is when an individual begins to present
themselves to the world in a way that most affirms their gender identity. This could
look like sharing their lived name and gender identity in social settings.
Two Spirit: An umbrella term encompassing sexuality and gender in Indigenous
Native American communities. Two Spirit people often serve integral and
important roles in their communities, such as leaders and healers. It may refer to
an embodiment of masculinity and femininity but this is not the only significance
of the term. There are a variety of definitions and feelings about the term two
spirit and this term does not resonate – for everyone. Two Spirit is a cultural term
reserved for those who identify as Indigenous Native American. Although the term
itself became more commonly used around 1990, two spirit people have existed for
centuries.
U
Ursula: Some lesbians, particularly butch dykes, also participate in Bear culture
referring to themselves with the distinct label Ursula.
W
WLW: Abbreviation for Women who like Women. This term can include lesbians,
bisexual/pansexual/omnisexual women, as well as other identities. Some prefer the
term “sapphic”, as it is more inclusive of non-binary folks. See also Sapphic.
Womxn: Some womxn spell the word with an “x” as a form of empowerment to
move away from the “men” in the “traditional” spelling of women.
X
Xenine: The adjective "xenine" means "of or pertaining to xenogenders" and is the xenogender equivalent of "feminine," "masculine," etc. The noun form of "xenine" is "xenity." The xenogender equivalent of "boy" or "girl" is "xip," and the equivalent of man or woman is "xenan."
Xenogender: Composed of the words “xeno”, meaning “alien”, “foreigner”, and “gender”, the term xenogender refers to all those people who identify with a gender that cannot be contained by the human understanding of gender, and is more interested in creating other methods of categorization and gender hierarchy such as those relating to animals, plants or other creatures/things. Xenogender characterizes a non-binary gender identity that goes beyond the traditional male/female dichotomy and involves, in the profiling of one’s being, also objects, concepts, emotions, ideas, animals, plants and abstract and/or invented entities, which therefore go beyond the “usual” method of identifying the self. In a glossary like this one, it would be almost impossible to list them all: around 3.500-4.000 xenogenders have been identified as of today!
Transgender 101
This guide is meant for new allies to the transgender community. Folks who have
recently found that they are transgender and/or exploring the possibility of being
transgender can also find this page useful, however we also suggest you check out
our Trans Resource List.
This is by no means an exhaustive guide to treating trans people equitably. We
recommend that those who are interested in diving deeper attend our educational
workshops.
Terms
Transgender: Identifying as transgender, or trans, means that one’s internal
knowledge of gender is different from conventional expectations based on the sex
that person was assigned at birth.
•A transgender woman is a woman (lives as a woman, identifies as a woman)
and was assigned male at birth.
•A transgender man is a man (lives as a man, identifies as a man) and was
assigned female at birth.
•Trans is an umbrella term that can also describe someone who identifies as
a gender other than woman or man, such as non binary, genderqueer,
genderfluid, or some other gender identity.
•There are many genders. These genders have always been around and have
been well-documented throughout history in various cultures. Today we have
a more mindful culture in our attitudes towards gender as well as better
language to help describe and share these gender identities with others.
•Additional resources in gender diversity in other cultures:
•A Map of Gender-Diverse Cultures (Independent Lens, PBS)
• Gender in Other Cultures (The Gender Spectrum)
•Some people who identify as non binary identify as trans while others do
not. It is important to recognize and respect the terms someone uses to
describe their own identity. A thoughtful way to ask someone to further
explain their identity might be, “What does that term mean to you?” or “Can
you please tell me what you mean when you say you identify as ______?”
•Someone who is cisgender is someone whose gender identity fits
conventional expectations based on that person’s assigned sex at birth.
•A cisgender woman is a woman who was assigned female at birth. A
cisgender man is a man who was assigned male at birth.
Transition: Transitioning is the process of taking steps to live as one’s true gender
identity. Transitioning is different for each individual and may or may not involve
medical interventions like taking hormones or having surgery.
Transitioning could be going by the Lived Name that affirms their gender identity
or going by certain pronouns that affirm their gender identity. Transitioning could
involve making changes to one’s physical appearance, such as wearing certain
clothing, wearing one’s hair in a different style or length, or more complex changes
such as medically transitioning through hormones or surgery. Transitioning can
also involve changing legal documents to match one’s authentic sense of self.
A trans person’s gender identity is real regardless of their choice to transition or to
what extent.
Passing: Passing refers to a transgender person’s experience of being viewed as
the gender they wish to be perceived. For some, passing is important for affirming
one’s gender identity. Passing can help some affirm their gender identity. Others do
not find the idea of passing needed or find it negative overall. This is because they
can find the idea of passing to be reinforcing stereotypes of gender and to be
erasing trans visibility. (Consider the following: Why do trans people need to pass?
Is there something wrong with people who are visibility/"obviously" trans?.)
It is important to recognize that the degree to which a person passes does not
make that person’s gender identity more or less valid. A trans person’s gender
identity is independent of that person’s gender expression, and everyone has a
right to express their gender in a way that is authentic to them.
What is the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation?
Gender identity and sexual orientation are two separate aspects of someone’s
identity.
•Gender identity refers to one’s internal knowledge of self as a man,
woman, or some other identity. Identifying as transgender refers to one’s
gender identity.
•Sexual orientation refers to who you’re attracted to. Sexual orientations
include (but are not limited to) straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and asexual.
Transgender people identify as a gender identity that does not correlate with the
gender they were assigned to at birth. For example, a transgender man identifies
and lives life as a man and was assigned female at birth.
Transgender people, like anyone, can be straight, gay, lesbian, etc. since gender
identity and sexual orientation are separate.
What is the difference between transgender and intersex?
Intersex is an umbrella term that describes a wide range of natural bodily
variations that do not fit typical definitions of male and female bodies. These
variations may include, but are not limited to, unique chromosome compositions,
hormone concentrations, and external and internal biology. Being transgender
means one’s internal sense of self does not correlate with the sex one was assigned
at birth. Transgender people are often born with typical male or female anatomy or
genes but know that their gender identity is something different than what they are
born with.
Why don’t all transgender people take hormones and have surgery to be the gender
they truly are?
The decision to medically transition is a personal decision that depends on a
number of factors that vary for each individual. Taking hormones and having
gender confirmation surgery requires a large investment of time, energy, and
money, and this may simply not be a good fit for some people’s lives. Some trans
folks may also feel that medically transitioning is not necessary to their gender
identity or expression. For example, a trans man may feel like it is unnecessary for
him to get surgery to remove his breasts, because to him a man can have breasts.
Whether someone has medically transitioned or not does not make someone any
less trans. Someone’s gender identity is an inherent and very real part of who they
are, regardless of their desire or ability to transition through medical interventions.
Trans people may also identify as a gender besides woman or man, such as non
binary, and thus may not have a desire to take hormones or have surgery to fit a
binary gender such as male or female.
What is the difference between transgender and gender expansive?
Gender expansive means not fitting stereotypical gender norms. It can refer to
people who do not fit traditional masculine man or feminine woman stereotypes.
The term refers to gender expression and behavior rather than gender identity.
What is gender dysphoria?
Gender dysphoria describes the feelings of distress some people experience due to
a sense of incongruence between one’s assigned sex at birth and one’s gender
identity. There are different varieties of dysphoria, shaped by a person’s
environment and can be influenced by the perceptions and behaviors of others.
Gender dysphoria can change in nature and degree with different contexts and
other factors. Gender dysphoria is not the same as being transgender. Everyone
experiences dysphoria differently.
Many trans folks also experience gender euphoria, which is feeling affirmed in
one’s gender identity.
Below is a brief overview of pronouns and inclusive language. This is by no means
an exhaustive guide to treating trans people equitably.
What are pronouns?
Pronouns are linguistic tools that we use to refer to people (i.e. they/them/theirs,
she/her/hers, he/him/his). We believe that it is important to give people the
opportunity to state the pronoun that is correct to use when referring to them.
Pronouns are integral to who we are, and we share pronouns because we want to
avoid assuming someone's pronouns based on factors like appearance. By sharing
our own pronouns routinely, we encourage others to do the same and demonstrate
that we understand the importance of sharing pronouns. Using someone’s correct
pronouns is an important way of affirming someone’s identity and is a
fundamental step in being an ally.
Common pronouns include she/her/hers, he/him/his, and they/them/theirs.
There are other nonbinary pronouns. It is important to ask people what their
pronouns are. If you have questions, politely ask the person if they feel
comfortable giving examples of how to use those pronouns.
Examples of Pronouns:
(This is NOT an exhaustive list. Any combination is possible!)
___ laughed.
Ask ____!
That’s ____ pen.
That pen’s ____.
Did ___ enjoy _____?
co
co
cos
cos
coself
en
en
ens
ens
enself
ey
em
eir
eirs
emself
he
him
his
his
himself
she
her
her
hers
herself
they
them
their
theirs
themself
xie
hir ("here")
hir
hirs
hirself
yo
yo
yos
yos
yoself
ze
ve
zir
vis
zir
ver
zirs
ver
zirself
verself
per
pers
perself
Example: Ze reminded zirself to pick up zir umbrella before going outside.
How you could ask:
“What pronouns do you use?”
“What pronouns would you like me to use?”
How you could share:
“I’m Jade and my pronouns are ze and hir.”
“Leo, I prefer they and them, but he is fine too.”
“My pronoun is co.”
Try to avoid using the phrases “preferred pronouns” or “preferred name” as these
suggest an element of flexibility or that someone’s identity is less than valid.
Someone’s name and pronouns are not suggestions and are not preferred over
something else. They are inherent to who we are.
Keep in mind some people may use certain pronouns in some contexts and not in
others due to a variety of factors, including safety. For example, a person may be
openly transgender or trans* at work but not at home with their family. Some
people use different names and different pronouns depending on the context. It
can be helpful to clarify in what situations someone uses certain pronouns.
Remember it is up to each person how and when they choose to share part of their
identity with others.
Other approaches to pronouns:
“ Just my name, please.”
“ No preference!”
“It’s better if you mix ‘em up!”
“No pronouns for me!”
They/them/theirs pronouns:
While we might typically think of “they/them/theirs” as a plural pronoun, we
actually use they to refer to an individual all the time without realizing it. When we
refer to a person whose gender we do not know, we might use they as the pronoun.
“I got a call from the doctor today.”
“What did they say?”
(In this example, “they” is used as a pronoun to refer to an individual.)
Ways to make language more inclusive:
“Hey, everyone” or "How are all y'all doing?" in a group setting instead of “Hey
guys!” or “Hey ladies!" or "How are you guys doing?"
“They are a first year” when referring to a scholar instead of “they are a freshman”
Notice when someone refers to another person by their occupation if you naturally
use a particular pronoun. (i.e. Person A: “I just got back from the doctor’s office.”
Person B: “What did he say?”)
Make a habit of introducing yourself with your pronouns, not just in LGBTQIAspecific
situations. This makes sharing pronouns routine, instead of singling out
certain people or communities.
“Hi, my name is Hanna and my pronouns are she/her/hers.”
At the start of work meetings, make it a habit to go around the room and have
everyone introduce themselves and their pronouns if they feel comfortable. One
can emphasize that sharing pronouns is an important part of respecting each
person’s identity and is part of creating an inclusive space.
Adding pronouns to your email signature and business cards are an important way
to show you understand the importance of pronouns. Here are some examples:
Dan Alvarez
They/Them/Theirs
Administrator
Kay Miyazaki
Pronouns: She/Her/Hers
Office Manager
Why can’t I just assume someone’s pronouns by looking at them?
By assuming someone’s pronouns based on how they look, one is implicitly
reinforcing harmful stereotypes about gender expression. For example, that
masculine-looking people always use he/him/his pronouns. This is not always the
case, and it is important to understand and respect each individual’s identity. This
is why we want to ask, not assume, someone’s pronouns and make a habit of
introducing ourselves with our pronouns.
What if I make a mistake and use the wrong pronouns?
While we want to do our best to use someone’s correct pronouns, mistakes can
happen. If this does happen, it is best to apologize, say what pronoun you meant to
use, and move on without dwelling on the mistake.
If someone apologizes profusely, it brings attention to an already awkward
situation. Overly apologizing then puts the other person (the person who was just
misgendered) in an uncomfortable position. Some people in this position might
feel pressured to say, “It’s ok” even though it’s not - using the wrong pronouns can
be incredibly harmful. If a mistake happens, apologize, correct yourself, and move
on.
“She- I’m sorry, I meant to say ‘He got the files from the office.’”
Expanding Your Allyship
Many folks are interested in learning more about how to practice allyship. In
particular, our campus community has expressed interest in learning more about
allyship to trans, intersex and asexual communities.
We recommend that those who are interested in building their LGBTQIA+ allyship
skills attend our Educational Workshops, or review our
comprehensive LGBTQIA+ glossary.
Below we have highlighted some suggestions for allyship, as well as some general
tips.
Trans Allyship
1.Recognize the diversity of trans & genderqueer lives. Remember that these
identities are part of other identities, and intersect with race, class, size , age,
sexuality, immigration status, etc.
2.Always use the pronouns & name people want you to use. If you’re unsure,
ASK! If you make a mistake, correct yourself without being – dismissive of
its importance, without making excuses, & without making it a huge
deal/over-apologizing/drawing attention to you. Politely (& subtly, if
possible) correct others if they use the wrong pronoun. It helps to be explicit
rather than hoping they pick it up.
3.Ask when & where it’s safe to use their chosen name & pronouns (e.g., if a
trans person is not out at home, ask them how you should refer to them
around their family, etc).
4.Don’t ask trans people what their “real” name is (i.e., the one they were
born with). This is invasive and implies their chosen name is invalid and
less “real.” If you know their birth name, do not divulge it to others.
5.Instead of saying someone was born a boy (or a girl), try saying they were
assigned male at birth (or were assigned female). These terms recognize the
difference between sex & gender, and emphasize the ways in which sex &
gender are assigned to individuals at birth, rather than being innate, binary
or immutable qualities. AND… you can ask yourself if it is necessary to
even mention what sex someone was assigned at birth.
6.Don’t confuse gender with sexual orientation. Trans people, like cisgender
people, are straight, gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, etc.
7.Don’t ask trans people about their bodies, how they have sex, what their
genitals are like, etc. It’s rude & objectifying & none of your business. It can
be helpful to think about whether you would ask these questions of a
cisgender person.
8.Don’t ask about surgery or hormone status; don’t ask “when are you going
to have the surgery?” or “are you on hormones?” Like cisgender people, our
medical histories & bodies can be intensely personal & private. If trans
people want to share these details with you, allow them to do so on their own
terms.
9.Don’t assume the only way to transition is through hormones/surgery, &
understand that medical transition is very often based on economic status.
Recognize the classism inherent in associating medical transition with
“authentic” trans identities.
10.Don’t assume all trans people want hormones and/or surgery, or to
transition at all.
11.Don’t assume all trans people feel “trapped in the wrong body.” This is an
oversimplification and not the way (all) trans people feel.
12.Don’t assume all trans people identify as “men” or “women.” Many trans
people and genderqueer people identify as both, neither, or something
altogether different.
13.Don’t tell trans people what is appropriate to their gender (e.g., trans
women should grow their hair out & wear dresses). Like cisgender people,
we have varying forms of gender expression.
14.Do listen if a trans person chooses to talk to you about their gender
identity.
15.Be proactive and informed about restrooms - consider where nearby
gender-inclusive/all-gender restrooms are near your work, classes, etc. Be
understanding and think ahead about options if a trans or gender-nonconforming
friend is uncomfortable using a gendered bathroom, locker
room, or other segregated space.
16.If your organization is holding an event, designate a gender-neutral
bathroom in the building.
17.Don’t ask trans people to educate you. Do your own homework &
research. Understand that there is a difference between talking to
individuals about their preferences/perspectives and asking someone to be
your educator. Try not to view individuals as spokespeople; trans
communities are diverse, not one monolithic voice or viewpoint.
18.Recognize that trans women and trans feminine people deal with sexism
and misogyny in a very real way (on top of transphobia).
19.Recognize that trans women deserve access to “women-only”
spaces/programs/shelters/etc.
20.If you are cisgender, recognize your privilege & prejudices as a
normatively gendered person.
21.Don’t let transphobia/cissexism slide. Confront it as you would confront
all other forms of oppression. Trans issues are rarely discussed & when they
are it is often in a negative light.
22.Talk about trans issues/rights. Engage people in discussions & share
your knowledge.
23.If you are a cisgender person, be aware of the role you can play as an
ally. Remember that the way you talk about trans people (e.g., using the
right pronouns) influences how others perceive us & can make a difference
in whether we feel safe/comfortable.
24.Don’t out trans people. This could be dangerous to their safety. Likewise,
be aware of your surroundings when discussing trans issues with a trans
person. For their safety & comfort, they may prefer not to discuss these
topics in public places or among strangers.
25.Above all respect and support trans people in their lives and choices.
Intersex Allyship
via Organisation Intersex International
1.Remember that many intersex individuals prioritize discussing how to
combat human rights abuses [like surgeries on intersex infants], rather than
being used as examples to explore concepts in sex and gender theory.
2.Be intersex inclusive. Use LGBTI or LGBTQIA acronyms in your speech
and writing at your university and organization. Consider how to be inclusive
in the scope of your programming, your understanding of the variety of
bodies, and the issues that you consider relevant to addressing LGBTQIA
oppression.
3.Make intersex more visible. “Like” an intersex activist organization like
OII via Facebook; share an article, blog post, book, documentary, movie,
YouTube clip, or these ally tips; spread information via other formats such a
tumblr and in-person conversations.
4.Learn about intersex from intersex people. Intersex people are the experts
on our experiences and needs; contact an intersex educator for speaking
engagements, if unable to meet intersex people, view documentaries, etc.,
featuring intersex people telling their own stories.
5.When speaking to intersex individuals:
1.Remember that being intersex may or may not be a part of their
identity.
2.Remember it is not their duty to discuss intersex at any time, or that
they will be comfortable discussing all aspects: follow their lead.
3.Phrase questions to understand intersex broadly, not in ways that are
too personal and thus invasive.
4.Ensure questions do not serve to stigmatize or fetishize intersex
individuals.
5.If intersex individuals are not comfortable discussing certain topics:
1.They may wish to have this conversation at another time.
2.They may wish to have this conversation, but not publicly.
3.They may wish to have a broad/general conversation, rather
than a personal one.
4.They may not wish to have this conversation, it may be too
personal or triggering.
6.Do not make the assumption that intersex is a medical condition. Some
intersex folks do not use the words “condition” or “syndrome” when
discussing their form of intersex. You can use language like “variations of
intersex” or “intersex variations” instead of “intersex conditions.”
Asexual Allyship
1.Educate yourself and others about asexuality.
2.Speak up if you hear an asexual person being ridiculed or harassed for
their orientation.
3.Explicitly include asexuality and its related identities in sexual orientationfocused
groups, workshops, discussions, etc.
4.Don't automatically assume that everyone you meet is allosexual, even if
they seem comfortable talking or writing about sex.
5.Respect a person's self-identity and refer to them by whatever labels (or
lack thereof) they apply to themselves.
6.Don't ask highly personal questions about a person's sexual feelings or
experiences, unless you are close enough to the person that you know such
questions would be acceptable.
7.Don't tokenize an asexual person by expecting them to be the
spokesperson for all things asexual.
8.Recognize that asexual people may have varying degrees of comfort with
discussions of sex. Some asexual people may be very uncomfortable with it,
others may be completely fine with it and may even enjoy flirting or making
sexual jokes just for fun. If you're not sure where someone's boundaries are,
ask them.
9.Correct misconceptions about asexuality if you hear someone expressing
them.
10.Don't assume anything about an asexual person’s romantic orientation, or
about their past or present sexual experiences (or lack thereof).
11.Cultivate a vision of sex positivity in which not wanting sex is just as
valid and affirming as wanting it.
General Allyship
Adapted from CSU Long Beach’s “Being an Ally.”
1.Believe that issues related to oppression are everyone’s concern, not just
the concern of those who are the targets of oppression.
2.Understand that people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer,
intersex, or asexual are experts on their own experience, and that you have
much to learn from them.
3.Take responsibility for your own education on issues related to gender
identity and sexual orientation. Take the initiative to become as
knowledgeable as you can on issues of concern to people who are
LGBTQIA.
4.Making mistakes is part of the learning process of practicing
allyship. Acknowledge and apologize for mistakes; learn from them, but do
not retreat.
5.Avoid trying to convince people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender,
questioning and intersex that you are on their side; just be there.
6.Remember that ally is a verb - actions are more powerful than words.
7.Create opportunities for allies to join together in coalition to reduce
oppression of LGBTQIA people.